On the waiting list for the NHS

You know the feeling. It's the I have waited so long in this queue and then sent to the back feeling. The labelled feeling like the sell-by-date on food.

That's what 'it' makes us feel like. And what is this 'it' exactly? One word NHS. If you have dared to ask the NHS for help - like moi by now you should know how le crape it is. The acronym may as well stand for 'Not Happening Soon', because of the crazy amount of time it takes to be referred. Now I'm not disregarding the good work NHS people do - but seriously the waiting times *Cough government? (By the way I'm on round #2)

Calling the clinic was hard. Why? Because, I got so nervous (as per) that I had to write down what it was I needed to say. Nervous that I could feel my heart picking up and my palms begin to sweat. But, I did it. The reason. I had been screened. Unfortunately not a ticket to the cinema - but of those of you who have gone through the system before will know it is when you lardeedar about 'what's wrong' and fill in the same questionnaire, 1-10s and all that. Which is fine and well and good. But, that must have been over 3 weeks ago and I hadn't heard a peep out of them since. So what were they planning to do with me? They had left me out to dry.

So, I had to call. I want help. So, I did - to then be told to ring another number (which is the worse news for someone with social anxiety!). Eventually I made myself do it. Not only was it annoying to hear clear gossiping in the background (I could hear every word), but that I would have to wait 4 months till I can get therapy. I am on a waiting list, among other people and would have to wait until I get to the top - which let's face it could take longer. It was like I was another body slung onto the heap.

This is not good enough! Not just for me, but for everybody. People can have downward spirals in a matter of hours, days - not months. You will know this. They need help. We need help. When we decide we need help or can get help (which lets face it can be a pretty daunting set of steps) - we do it because we feel as if we need help now. For a lot of people getting help feels like the last resort.

The harsh reality is that people are not getting help quick enough. Like I said it is not necessarily a matter of months, but more hours, days, weeks. I will be able to wait that long. However, I can't say the same for others. What happens if its too long and someone commits sucide, hurts themselves badly or gets themselves in a heap of trouble? Not only does this potentially cost the NHS more? And also the legal system due to consequence - gosh even social services. It has a domino effect. Not to mention the distress of loved ones who may not have even have known someone suffered mentally.

So, even the idea of saving 'money' hasn't fazed the government - the very heart of politics. There needs to be change. Suicide, self-destruction, panic, the feeling of doom can all be prevented with help. It doesn't have to get that far. People shouldn't have to hurt themselves to get attention or to be prioritized (in some cases). You and me shouldn't have to feel insignificant by being added to a 'list' of people and made to feel as if you are competing. Everyone deserves help. You do.

The real 'trew' is that there should be nothing last minute about the mental health system. Everybody should be allowed access if needed. If people were educated about it earlier or if people were offered help earlier it could prevent a lot of occurrences (crime, injuries, loss, waste of money). People should be allowed help on the day no matter how big or small the problem feels like. We all need support at some point.

Together we must take a stand!

Stop Bullying

You are a school kid. Alone. Headed for home.

Yours hands are clutched over the folder you carry everywhere. By now you are quite away from your first year (high school) and the second, but perhaps not much further. The little company you have our your own thoughts and the memory of the day. The school is now a bit behind you.

Two boys head towards you. Your age. The same shabby uniform, perhaps they are in one of your classes. Maybe you hardly know them at all. They begin to awkwardly whisper at you, close and in the side of your ear. You don't and can't look at them. Their words are cruel.

Like sharks they preyed on you. Circled you then tested you out. At best you ignore them. You know they want to see your hairs on your arms prick, streaks down your face. Will they ever leave you? What can you do?

This is what I saw today. Bullying.

I had been where he had been. Gosh, I had practically danced around in his shoes. Maybe you have too? So, what do you do when you see this? Tell them to leave them alone or if they are being violent seek help. If you have been in that position then you know how horrible it can feel! So, speak up. It's can be hard especially when we ourselves are anxious, but if you see it do it. I was surprised at how startled the bully's looked before leaving him alone.

This also goes for ourselves. If you haven't been bullied then you are wrong. If you get anxious a lot then anxiety is your bully. So feel that adrenaline and speak up as loud as you can. Tell it once and for all to leave you alone!