Hello Anxiety,
Today I took a step. And not just out in the rain that seemed to endlessly pour out of the heavens. But, a real step forward to getting myself out of Anxietytown or several if you are talking literally. Now, although I still have plenty of steps before I reach the border between Anxietytown and Freedom with every step whether that be crawling, running or hopping I will get there. And if I can, then so can you.
Picture back to a few weeks ago. At this time I had a really bad few weeks. As we do, when things feel particularly worse. I just felt pretty crap. I felt tense all the time like I couldn't relax my muscles. I had lost some of my appetite (which I will say is completely unlike me) - my digestive system decided it would be fun to play a bad game a Tetris. I was getting anxious a lot. Well a lot for me. And it kept on stacking higher and higher. Not to mention the thoughts and other lardeedars. It just wasn't fun. Still isn't - though it is better.
At this point, all I wanted was help. I knew I needed and I wanted it as soon as. So, if you think you need help or if you say you don't but you know that you do, get it. This is my 2nd time I went to my GP and also 2nd time I have been referred. Lets face it, it is a loonngg process and I understand scarily so for those who need it most. Granted it has come around quicker than last, but it just seems so difficult to get help. Something which is just wrong for so many reasons that I know many of you know.
So, as I came just by the minute on time, having being anxious on top of anxious because my Dad took a while to get ready, I finally took my step. A few days ago weirdly enough I was looking forward to this. This felt like my hope to getting better for good rather than for a while. So, as I took my hood down went in and waited while the nerves still bubbled in me.
When my name was finally called in the way that it always is in a clinical environment, I got up and went. Why I am bothering to say this? Well, that in itself is a step. A step you can also take.
When I sat down on those rubbish uncomfortable chairs and the same doctory (yes I made this word up) cold wall colour, every thing was put in a new perspective again. It always happens that you have to sieve through all the problems you have faced, perhaps feeling as if we have to prove ourselves that yes we are anxious people. Always thinking or regretting that we failed to mention a very important point. Once I had talked for a while and filled in that same form I had become familiar to, I began to feel it all hit me. I wanted to cry, but felt I couldn't. It just felt so emotional and it is.
So, I said I would give you some tips on how to get better. And as I went home I was bewildered at what it is I could say to help. Now, it rings as loud as ever. Tip#1 If you haven't already got help get it! Ask for it! Talk about it! Then you will be one step closer to the mighty land of Freedom.
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